Decisions Decisions Decisions….

So I haven’t been updating this in a long time.  I have been trying to make decisions – such as should I continue to attend the church I have been attending, where in the world should I be serving, what groups should I be in and what about this petsitting business I am trying to start at home.  First,  What about the church?  I have been frustrated with somethings that have been going on at the church and about three weeks ago I heard God say this is not the time to change.  I was richly blessed with the series called “Take Responsibility for Your Life”.  I loved the topics – the baggage in our lives, the mess we create in our relationships, the mess we create in our live, and taking responsibility for my spiritual growth.  Wow, what a month of great messages.  I also have had the privilege of being a prayer warrior on our online campus and each week God is bringing someone to pray for in all sorts of situations.  I also get the privilege of teaching 3s at 8:30 and these kids are great.  I think I need to move up with these kiddos in August : ).

This past week I have started my spring studies.  One of them is a Bible Study by Beth Moore on the book of Revelation.  I missed the first week last night due to the snow in KC and my sinus infection.  I did download it and it is incredible. I loved the verse in chapter 1 that says he loves us, he freed us, and made us!    I also love the fact that she said that we are a direct result of our belief system.  I am in a Life Group, too, on Monday nights and it is a group of young women (younger than me : ))  and it is great to be able to laugh and start to build some friendships.  I am so looking forward to the Spring semester.

The only downside to my Bible Study on Tuesday is that once a month I will miss the 2nd Tuesday service.  What a great addition to WFC this year!  I love the leadership element of the service and much needed for members.  While there are alot of struggles in my life, I can honestly say God is good and He is Faithful.  I am one thankful person!

I am trying to start a petsitting business and it very slow process trying to get it started!  I would love to get this business on the side started….so that is a prayer need.

Reflections…

Ah, I wanted to remember some great things that ALL the churches I have attended did and how it impacted my life.

First of foremost, Cure of Ars, the Catholic church – you gave me the first person who had a joy that really came from the Lord and noticed a difference in a person’s life.  I came to understand what Christianity really is – a relationship with the help of the para-church group K-Life.

Seccondly, Heartland Community Church, I can’t say enough…it gave me a love for going to church I have never lost.  You gave me an opportunity to serve – in Middle School and then learn how to give your life away.  I remember those College Retreats that I went on (even though I was out of college) and the staying up until 2 or later talking about life.  I also remember staying up almost all night because God was working on my heart.  You gave me a community to go to KSU with and for that I am grateful – with those friends and with a little nudge from a friend I got involved in a college ministry.  Thank you Heartland you made a difference in my life especially.  You showed what it meant to serve.

Ah, the last church before coming to Westside Family Church is First Family Church.  Thank you for showing me the Word of God  and boldly proclaiming and teaching the Word of God.  You got me in the Word and learn it.  Thank you FFC!

Westside, my current church, I just have to say Thanks.  It has been a rough few years as a church family.  You taught me the most valuable lesson – no church is perfect only the God we worship is perfect.  I also need to thank you for taking the Word of God and showing me how to apply it to my daily life.  I also learned that I love to serve kids.   I also learned how to lead a group not so well – that is okay.  It was just a learning experience…yet I love to meet one on one with folks and am stronger there than leading small groups maybe those weekly lunches in College got me used to it.  I also learned how to have fun with a group and also do life with people (oh by the way if you don’t know this already LIFE STINKS sometimes but God is our refuge a very present help in time of need).  You had me play farkle and learned to lose every game.  My faith became personalized and I got to KNOW God – I knew of him but never in the personal way that I know him now. WFC -  thank you.  I became a person with a sense of humor and a person who will do what it takes to let people come to know Christ.  I look forward to more memories with you and if God moves me to serve him in a new way – THANK YOU for who you are – a church who loves Jesus, who wants people to become more like Jesus, and sharing Jesus here in our neighborhood, in our community, in our nation, and in the world.

My heart – “I thank my God every time I remember you”

Thankful

I was able to take part in a retreat this weekend and it was wonderful —the worship was awesome, the stories and the joy each lady had in the midst of incredible trials was inspiring.  However, I looked in the room and noticed there were women missing — women who are a part of Westside and either don’t feel comfortable going to a “women’s” event or feel like they won’t know anyone and to each one I really encourage you to take part in the next event.  Get out of your comfort zone…I KNOW how hard it is to get out of your comfort zone and do something like this and I had to take a step out of my comfort zone 5 years ago…I got out of my comfortable “singles” group and went to a Life Group with a mixture of ladies – one married with 4 kids, one empty nester, one new grandma, a single who came back from the mission field, and low and behold a gal I knew from a previous group and then we opened up and I met four more incredible women.  How, I grew and learned from women further down the road and they  HAVE SO MUCH to give younger women - I am not talking mentoring although my heart is still beating for that even though I feel shut down at every turn in my current environment and I get discouraged!  I am thankful for ALL the women.  Wow, what a great ride the last five years.

IT’S TOUGH BEING A WOMAN!!!

Well, my blog has been very quiet lately…just been very busy and also sick with sinus infection plus my arthitis is acting up.  One of my fingers is very sore when I try to bend it – OUCH!  It doesn’t mean that I haven’t had things to say but I need to organize my thoughts better.  I just wanted to write some  thoughts down  which I got it from Beth Moore -  “God can’t turn a table that was never set against you” and this question “Am I strong or just spoiled?”  Are we strong because things are stacked against us or are we spoiled when we can worship in a free manner.

Here are the scenarios that Beth talked about during the study…

It’s tough being a woman…

1. In Another women’s shadow
2. Where beauty is a treatment
3. In a mean world
4. When we’ve been thrown a giant size weight
5. in the Tight fist of fear
6. Who can balance passion with patience
7. who  feels responsible for the how.

She unpacks each of these and how we can fight these situations during the Esther study and I would recommend it to any women.  I can’t believe it is over after next week.  I have grown up during these weeks and the one thing that stood out to me was how God turned the tables but he can’t until the table is set against us!

This weekend I will post one of my most heart felt posts on my former Life Group and how thankful I am for each woman who have been part of the Messer/Pockrandt life group the last three and half years!  Wow, what a ride!!!!  I will share some of the life lessons that I learned from this group and it all starts with being FAT!  I do want to be fat in this case!

Are you a pit dweller?

Excuse me?  Are you a pit dweller?  No, I don’t mean stuck in a hole somewhere – I mean a spiritual pit, a mental pit.  Let me define it for you (all credit for this goes to Beth Moore – from Get Out of that Pit!):

1. Are you stuck????   Do you feel trapped??  Do you think you can’t get much lower and instead you do – Beth made a point that you can’t live at maintenance level in a pit  She says that we can’t get ourselves out of the pit.
2. Can you stand?  Beth – “If you and I are going to be victorious people we’ve got to stand with our town own two feet on solid ground…Drawing from the figurative application, we’ll define pit this way: a pit is an early grave that Satan’s digs for you in hopes he can bury you alive. Should you fall into it, make no mistake, HE CANNOT make you stay.  Ironically, neither will God make you leave. LIKE IT OR NOT, some things are simply up to us.
3. Do you have vision?  A pit is so poorly lit that things that seem so obvious to us and one time doesn’t seem like it during the time we are a pit dweller.     We lose hope – we feel so buried in our present state to feel passionate about a promised futre.  We are here with purpose – God didn’t create us to go through the motions – God meant us to be part of something bigger than we are, something vital.

I know all about pits I have been in one and it was a struggle to get out – but thanks to some awesome sisters in Christ I got out.  I stopped looking at my feet and see them sinking and sinking and sinking – I was thrown into a pit  when I was young due to some cruel things that was said to me by peers and my folks not realizing how hurt I was – I DEFINITELY was a pit dweller.  I loved the pit – it was the only thing I knew but two sisters came a long side me and loved me in two totally different ways – one challenged me to change and the other walked with me while I was getting out of the pit.    I got out of the pit when I realized there was hope – I didn’t have to hurt anymore – I could forgive and get out of the pit.  I had some tough cards to deal with but God brought me through it.  I am so thankful for the last few years and those women who walked with me.  I still need to stop being a pit dweller when tough cards come my way….

I will write more as I read Get Out of that Pit by Beth Moore!

We will wait…

As I was watching the study tonight, It was all on waiting for the Lord.  It is tought to Wait on the Lord instead of waiting on a person or event.  I know it tough to wait but a point she made really struck me – sometimes we need to wait for the other person’s time.  God will prompt us not only when it is the right time for us but the other person as well.  It is tough – to wait – to be patient – it’s tough being a women when we have to balance between passion and people.  I thought of Lincoln Brewster’s song…Everlasting God (one of my very favorite songs):

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won’t grow weary

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won’t grow weary

You’re the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

I am truly enjoying this study and it also ties into what my Life Group is studying in Hosea as well.  I am thankful for not only this Bible Study on Tuesday but the Life Group I am a part of on Monday nights. 

 

The Year in Review and the Year ahead!

Alot has been going on this year in my life.  I had a great mentor, a challenge to resolve a conflict, a debate of where I should be and where I should serve. First on the mentor, we did a study on love – try to put into practice these words – do good to those who hate you, serve one another in love.  We also did a book on discipleship Disciples Are Made Not Born and I would encourage anyone who has a heart for discipleship to read this book.  Secondly on the conflict,  I had to approach someone that I had conflict with – hard and very uncomfortable.  I wanted to grow chicken feathers, but an encouraging voice said go.  I said it was so long ago – an encouraging voice said that being  obedient to God is worth it.  I had to come to a point prior to approaching this person I was comfortable no matter what reaction this person gave – I was and God was obeyed.  I left the results and am leaving the results to God.

Thirdly I have written lately about community and change and yet I feel like God is guiding me once again to stay put – he is saying this is a community where I am at work.  Does this mean that I won’t pursue new avenues to serve – NO!  I will serve where he wants – I know my heart is to mentor young people and to be honest I don’t see an openness in my current community for me to join and it hurts.  So…I am looking at joining up with an organization that first led me to Christ and softened my heart to God’s Word my sophomore year of High School.  I know God has called me to disciple others and it isn’t just a call – it is a matter of obedience….Jesus said, “Go and make disciples”  I think we focus sometimes so much on the going that we forget about the disciples.  God is going to complete his work in me and I am confident in that.  God wants me to follow through on my commitments for the next year (some goals: Read through the Bible, complete Phillipians memorization, and become truly a prayer warrior ).  God wants me to know he is in control of every detail of my life.  He wants me to have the proper perspective when the storms hit in 2009 – Keep my eyes on things above (Colossians 3). 

Psalm 115:1 -Not to us, O LORD, not to us  but to your name be the glory,  because of your love and faithfulness.

Initial thoughts about Colossians

My life group during the month of December is going to be spending time in Colossians and as I was reading it I was struck by how Paul kept reminding them that they ARE forgiven.  A question came to my mind – if I am forgiven why do I live sometimes like I am not and feel guilty.  I need to believe God forgave me and walk in that freedom. 

He also said to not focus on  earthly things but heavenly things.   He told us to put off our sinful nature and put on the new self.  He lists characteristics that we will exhibit when we are walking in the Spirit such as compassion, forgiving, kindness, humility, peace, thankfulness, and most of all love.  Paul describes how Christ is fully God and how Christ lives in us so we have the characteristics of God in us – I just have to step out of the way to let him work through me if I yield myself to the spirit (which ishard).  Wow!  Colossians is rich – 4 weeks to unpack – I wish we had more time!  I will be diving into this book more throughout the month.

And lastly a question, why did Paul end the book with this “I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand.  Remember my chains. Grace by with you.”  Why did Paul want to remember his chains?

to live by verse

A verse that I had to choose to live by since Thursday – “if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

This is a tough verse to live by but a freeing verse…

Thanks God for giving me courage today!

What if…

Ah, the what if’s are coming back..

• what if the church takes the great commission seriously – making disciples (not just adding numbers to the church)
• What if the church befriended and cared for the broken individuals and were their friend instead of casting them aside
• what if the church dreamed of mutiplying instead of adding numbers?

God is stirring in me and I am really serious about this mentoring idea.  God has been speaking to me and I have to obey.  I dream of the day where women who are young and want to have a mentor – know where to go.  I think of the women I know who are hungry for the word and they have a desire for a life group but  they also want a mentor or someone they can talk to about scriptures that they are reading during the week. I am convinced sometimes peer groups aren’t the best group for people but a group of different ages that way young women can get to know older women (in the faith not chronologically speaking), because I think the best mentors are friendships that are naturally developing not just made by the church. 

I am excited for the life group I am in.  We are taking disciple making seriously and some of the ideas stated here are being implemented.  I thank God for the vision God has placed in my heart and the new dream he has placed inside of me.  I used to think leading a life group was the only way to  disciple but leading a group is not where I am strong – my strength lies with one on one contact and because of this I pray for an opportunity to invest in someone else’s life long term.  I am also in a transition and am looking for a Paul to come along side me once again since Life change happens and it is causing my current mentor to move.